Why do so many students dislike math? Maybe because a lot of adults didn’t like it either. Parents might quietly admit they never really enjoyed math, but they’d rather their teen not feel the same way. So when a student says math is useless or avoids their homework, it’s easy to assume they’re just being lazy.
But usually, there’s something else going on. In this post, we’ll look at what’s really behind math avoidance and how the right kind of support can actually turn things around.
“Lazy” is an easy label to throw around, but it rarely tells the full story. A student who seems lazy might actually be overwhelmed. They might be procrastinating because they don’t know where to start. Or they might be saying math is useless as a way to avoid feeling stuck or embarrassed.
It’s easier to pretend you don’t care than to admit you don’t get it.
Here are some common signs that get mistaken for laziness:
Avoiding homework or forgetting to hand it in
Saying things like “this is pointless” or “I’ll never use this”
Rushing through questions just to get them over with
Refusing to ask for help, even when they clearly need it
Zoning out in class or staring at the page without trying
These behaviors look passive on the outside, but inside there’s often a storm of self-doubt, frustration, or shame.
And teens are good at hiding it.
When I first started working with Jordan, he was enrolled in a school math course and expected to demonstrate proficiency with specific outcomes. He told me math was “annoying.” When he did the work, I could see that he wasn’t really understanding what he was doing. He would just write things down and hope they were correct. If the answer was right, he seemed relieved and wanted to move on. If I asked him how he got it or why it worked, he didn’t want to explain. There was almost no retention.
There were some behavioural challenges at first. He didn’t want to engage with the material. More than that, he didn’t seem to believe that understanding math was something worth putting effort into. He’s initiated the “All we need to know is how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide so this algebra is useless” talk. It is entirely pointless to argue with a student about this, by the way.
I eventually realized that if I didn’t have his cooperation, I wouldn’t be able to teach him anything at all. So I changed my approach and brought in topics that were not at all related to math. One time, I talked to him about struggling with figure skating (my hobby). I shared with him how I felt in the lessons when my coach told me to do certain things. The parallel between him learning math and me learning figure skating was not lost on me.
Looking back, I think those conversations were what helped build our relationship. We have discussed a lot of other things since then.
Over time, his attitude started to shift. Now that it’s summer and we’re no longer tied to the school curriculum, I have the freedom to teach him in a different way. I’ve been able to focus on the skills he missed and explore topics through things that actually interest him. He’s getting ready to start driving, so we looked at how parking apps charge by the hour. I showed him how rates and service fees work, and we used that to explore slope and intercepts. We also looked at gas price comparisons between Vancouver and Hawaii, where he’s currently vacationing.
What’s most exciting is how he’s thinking now. He isn’t just answering the questions I ask. He’s looking at real-life situations and drawing his own conclusions. He’s asking deeper questions and connecting the math to the world around him. That kind of thinking wasn’t happening before, and I truly believe it’s because we had the time and space to do things differently.
If he were still in school, with the pressure of assignments and deadlines, I don’t think I would’ve had the chance to reach him in this way.
When a teen says math is useless, it’s tempting to push back right away. You might want to remind them that math is everywhere or that they’ll need it for college or a job. But chances are, they already know that.
The issue isn’t logic. It’s emotion.
What helps more than a lecture is letting your teen know that struggling with math doesn’t mean they’re bad at it, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with them.
If they’re avoiding the work, there’s probably a good reason underneath it, even if they don’t know how to say it yet.
Here are a few things you can do:
Normalize the frustration. Let them know it’s okay for learning to feel difficult sometimes.
Talk about your own experiences. If math was hard for you, say that — and share how you got through it (or how you’re still working on it).
Stay curious instead of critical. One thing I’ve done is pull out an emotion chart and ask how a student feels about math right now, and then how they wish they felt about it. It opens up a more honest conversation than just asking why they aren’t trying.
Look for outside support that builds trust first. Tutoring works best when the student feels emotionally safe, not just academically pressured.
The goal isn’t to convince them to love math overnight. It’s to help them stay open long enough for things to start making sense.
If your teen is avoiding math, feels stuck, or just doesn’t seem motivated anymore, there is something you can do.
Sometimes all it takes is a different approach, a bit of patience, and someone outside the classroom who really listens.
If you’d like to talk about what’s going on and see if tutoring might help, feel free to reach out.
I’d be happy to chat.
